Thursday, March 24, 2011 @ 9:10 AM
it's been a long time..
just discovered a rather shocking news (to me that is). never really expected someone like that to suddenly leave.
though we aren't extremely old friends, it kinda left me thinking.
the choice of school made me think of one that seeped through the cracks, going into a place society would never dare to take a step into.
would i call it envy? at that moment that's what it felt like. that i envied she's going somewhere different, where perhaps, social norms didnt apply as much. that for once, maybe she gets to decide when to strive forward, and when to just stop to admire everything in life. where i felt that God definitely could take an even higher priority.
i hate the fact that as much as i would love to do that, i wouldn't be able to muster up the courage. that in the end, i was still the cowardly being that followed the flow of things. whether that is something that is truly the right thing to do, is yet to be seen.
hate the fact that there exists no equilibrium between money and interest. that its either one or the other. that everyone hopes for the latter. that for my case, interest doesn't equal money and vice versa. that my mum cant accept that.
that for the time being.. im still who the world hopes i can be.