Friday, April 30, 2010 @ 9:21 AM
thank you for the birthday wishes everyone :D
love you guys ttm ^^
haha sarah and tammy's joining CJ!
yay!!
& happy birthday wyoung dear!
너무너무 사랑해요 ~
Tuesday, April 27, 2010 @ 7:57 AM
如果超人会飞.
那就让我在天空停一停歇再次俯瞰这个世界
会让我觉得好一些拯救地球好累
虽然有些疲惫但我还是会不要问我哭过没有
因为超人不能留眼泪.
真的没话说，太棒了。
好感动哦。。这十年来辛苦你了
虽然会累，但是也不能气馁。
我们不能没有你，知道吧。
最近其实也不知不觉地又开始听你以前的创作，
重温那年为终于找到真正的歌手，榜样，音乐奇才的这件事感到无比欣慰的那种心情。
今天的确不知道会有这意外的发现，很抱歉没好好留意。
连听都还没开始听，就已经因为歌词的关系而落泪。
很高兴能够看到他的音乐随这岁月而变得更成熟，更有自信，更能够代表自己。
有位网友说得没错: 你，可以不喜欢他的音乐。但你不能不承认他那么多年来的努力和劳动的成果。
当然意思不是把说自己看成是超人，
有时不管做什么，都一定会有人不满。
真的好希望自己能是超人。
这样，关心我的人就不必失望，有求于我的人我也一定帮得了，而做了这些过后，还有时间去拯救世界，做我喜欢做的事情。
如果超人都觉得累的话，那我们这种普通人要怎么办啊。
就如超人一样，我也想停下来俯瞰这世界。
你可知道，我们变得如此忙碌，错过了多少美丽的画面，忽略了多少别人的感受。
那我是否能渴望，有一天，忙碌的生活对大家来说都会失去意义。
这时，所有人都会停下脚步，愕然发现身边的人和事物都变了好多
并开始珍惜情感，亲情，兴趣，多过于钱财等。
对，超人不能流眼泪。
虽然现在不太可能，但是我会更努力。
grandma is finally out of the hospital :D
can't wait to go over & visit.
Monday, April 26, 2010 @ 3:41 AM
having this irresistable urge to.....?
cough.
awesome movie today :D
can't wait to continue watching after PW OP~
found some great songs
and dancers ^^
there's always next time,
when i'm older, when my mindset probably matures as well.
maybe then, i'll find the courage to really reach for that goal.
come to think of it,
if i don't even dare to try hard for it now
i have no idea how i'm going to do it in the future,
regardless of the number of years that will pass.
by then, it'll just be too little too late.
quoting someone's status update on fb:
" Out of the many possibilities, choices, opportunities chances, choose only one. Believe in it, believe in yourself, and work for it. It's your life, you live it, you control it. You choose. "
i wish i could just really follow my heart. but you know it's never that easy.
so many considerations, and although you know it'll make you feel like the happiest person on earth,
everything just kinda levels out when you remember about the number of people you'll be disappointing.
your own life?
i've come to realise that life is never your own.
it also belongs to everyone else that cares about you,
the ones that gave you life, carrying you, pushing you, to make you the person you are today.
and so I can't act like as though my world is defined by me alone.
cos i know i can't do without everyone else.
as thankful as i am for the people who have allowed me to be who i am now,
honestly, i don't wish to continue with this path anymore.
along the road of growth, maturity and knowledge acquiring,
i've learnt many things, yet also opened my eyes to so many other opportunities.
i've seen numerous opportunities passing me by, some even once in my grasp, except that i chose to let them go.
and i have always thought of excuses/reasons to explain why i gave them up.
but this time, i've found something i don't ever want to let go of,
and i know that no excuse/reason will ever be sufficient to convince myself that its okay.
in fact, i want to continue down this path wholeheartedly,
and although it won't be easy, with so many people staring and jeering
but i really believe that i won't ever look back.
thank you matt, ash, alex & j (:
you guys are amazing.
Sunday, April 25, 2010 @ 6:25 AM
so i thought i'd be the most happy when the young, handsome ones get the prizes.
turns out that it isn't the case..
to all senior actors, you guys are still the best :D
well i guess it's true. the ones who deserve it the most are not only the ones who work the hardest, but also those who show gratitude every step of the way.
i promise i'll remember this for life jesus :)
with your kind of attitude, you really won't go far.
if you actually do, it's just god's amazing grace and definitely not cos of your own works
i've been thinking..
what defines intelligence?
is it really just how well you do in your studies? that's a little superficial isn't it.
perhaps it's how well you make decisions in your own life.
so much more to write but maybe not today.
thank you matt, for inspiring me again and again.
Saturday, April 24, 2010 @ 7:37 AM
so i had a day of doing absolutely nothing today.
thought that would make me really happy+ 9 hours of sleep for once.
but.. somehow it just didn't feel right.
everytime i take a break now, not doing anything proper, i'll always be on tenterhooks.
like i've just grown a parasite inside me that nags at me everytime i slack.
and it really just leaves me helpless.
the truth is.. well there are some things to do. like jianbao. but its due next friday.
and every other test has been postponed already..
i can study for them, but is it so wrong to just stop for a while?
please. just a while. yes im guilty of slacking but just this once?
when everything gets hard to control, hard to let go, hard to keep moving on
it's always when everything breaks down.
and it feels like the only way to make everything whole again is to escape.
so many places i'd love to go.
maybe, one day when everything really comes to a total stop cos i cant find the motivation or the energy to continue with this path in life, and when nothing else really matters anymore,
you'll find me at every one of those places living life just like how i wish so badly i could now.
sometimes i wonder, how can anyone's tears ever dry up beacause they get so tired of crying, when i simply can't make them stop.
Friday, April 23, 2010 @ 8:36 AM
urgh seriously.
my throat is bent on murdering me & my precious voice :((((
haha auditions were fun. no idea how it'd turn out though.
비 오빠 너무 잘생긴에요 :)
fortunately there isn't much to do this weekend.
if you guys haven't tried out akinator, do try it :D hehe hell of a fun time ytd.
this week past considerably quickly. im satisfied :)
next week..
dont make us go back for speech day pleaseeee. *begs*
i need some inspiration to continue moving.
and just like always, i can't see the end.
it's getting really tiring, really draggy
and i dont know when i'll get tempted to end this once and for all again.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010 @ 6:54 AM
quick quick update..
cca was hmm eye-opening i should say.
rather interesting for me but still really saddening.
want to believe so badly they'll be able to get out of that place some day, be able to walk, to find their children, be free to go anywhere they like.
and i've seen a few that are contented with the environment they are in now. well, it's a good thing, but i still wished they could see so much more of the world.
urgh, theres another shitload of things to do before this week ends.
save me please.
what am i supposed to do about saturday D:
iglocal, dance, ACE? or ACE, dance, iglocal (which isn't too feasible)
and there's still geog prac! :O
should i memorise PWOP? any suggestions? welll what sarah said makes sense. there isn't really a need to memorise.. stilll ://
oh HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICOLEEEE :D
heh~
okay it's back to boring math again.
tatas.
Saturday, April 17, 2010 @ 2:24 AM
flag day was a big success, or so i think.
a big hug to all anonymous people who supported us,
including dunmanians and ex-dunmanians.
i feel the spirit of the dunmanian family 너무사랑해 ^^
slacking big time now. not that i dont deserve it :/
whennnn is the next time i can sleep for at least 8 hours?!
i don't see it approaching in the near future.
tired x 1000 + headache.
one day, just you wait and see. i'll find the courage to run away.
and for once in my whole lifetime, i'll live for nothing but what i love.
indeed im extremely glad i didnt have to see you today.
and i hope you dont come next week either >:/
can't believe how bitchily you flirt with all guys you come across.
have some dignity for goodness sake.
for every person you meet, you want to add their facebook, and behave like as though you two are already old friends.
that is totally gross.
i guess i can deduce that you don't value loyal friends. after all, you're so busy trying to make "friends" with the whole world.
update tonight perhaps :D
oh yes, circle line is officially open~
whee.
Friday, April 16, 2010 @ 7:59 AM
urgh this week has been extremely insufferable.
so many tests every week.
oh man. PW OP next week.. i doubt we'd be the front few groups though so to everyone else, jiayou!~
简直就是沮丧到现在也想不出该说什么才好。
i know i cant, but i feel like throwing aside everything else and actually seriously try for this goal.
after all, i know it's really possible. just whether i can garner the courage needed.
i will. i hope, soon.
Monday, April 12, 2010 @ 8:55 AM
thought i ought to blog.
2.4 today.. boring -.- but at least it's over.
the sun can really kill nowadays.
and finally i can say i've experienced what's dehydration like.
(will it feel the same when you take me away one day?)
chem prac tomorrow.
wish me luck.
everytime i do it i thank god i don't have to do it next year.
gives me a reason to give praise to Him too :)
jesus, you'll help me i know :D
thank you in advance.
cca tomorrow~
haha can't say that im dreading it actually.
in fact im quite looking forward to it.
^^
update tomorrow. perhaps
Saturday, April 10, 2010 @ 8:24 AM
okay i feel like updating again.
man, matt you can't give up!
not when you've already made it so far..
prove them all wrong, this isn't all you can do.
if you give up and think that it's not possible anymore,
then where does that leave me, and all of us who have similar dreams?
don't you know, you're an inspiration to so many people?
you're awesome and you know it.
please keep looking forward.
there's still so much out there you haven't explored
and i believe everyone you know, as well as all the anonymous followers will definitely be behind you 오빠 짱~
i just hate being that undecisive, especially about something this important.
i know im not the only one, but i mean, i should have been surer than anyone else.
well i guess people are just difficult to fanthom.
and definitely, i believe that you can never really know a person inside out, even more so now.
yes it's prestigious, yes there are people doing it now, but is this what you really want?
i really can't answer this question.
it is what i've always wanted, but now, im not so sure anymore.
the world's expanding, and there are so many better prospects everywhere out there, rather than just in this small field.
but to think that there is this 5% chance of getting in, doing that, and yet now i'm voluntarily giving up without even trying makes me die a lot on the inside.
so maybe i'll make up my mind soon,
or maybe i'll never be able to give that up on the inside.
but i know i will in the end, cos i don't have enough perseverance needed for something that good.
maybe it's just too prestigious for me and i don't deserve it.
and maybe, it is/will turn out to be a good thing.
i seriously need to go back.
it's killing me, the wait and everything else.
please jesus, a miracle now?
제발..
@ 1:22 AM
long long time since i last updated..
has been a horrid week of tests though it doesn't mean that now it's over, it's slacking time.
in fact, it's now the time to catch up on PW, geog proposal, 专题作业, ACE proj -.-
and everyone has to go korea around this period of time!
depressing much.
joan, hilda, amanda, jocelyn, sherlene, bring me along!
sigh.
):
7 more months. go tricia.
maybe i'll be able to not give up until then.
如果我变成回忆，是否就等于是得到自由了呢？