Saturday, April 10, 2010 @ 8:24 AM
okay i feel like updating again.
man, matt you can't give up!
not when you've already made it so far..
prove them all wrong, this isn't all you can do.
if you give up and think that it's not possible anymore,
then where does that leave me, and all of us who have similar dreams?
don't you know, you're an inspiration to so many people?
you're awesome and you know it.
please keep looking forward.
there's still so much out there you haven't explored
and i believe everyone you know, as well as all the anonymous followers will definitely be behind you 오빠 짱~
i just hate being that undecisive, especially about something this important.
i know im not the only one, but i mean, i should have been surer than anyone else.
well i guess people are just difficult to fanthom.
and definitely, i believe that you can never really know a person inside out, even more so now.
yes it's prestigious, yes there are people doing it now, but is this what you really want?
i really can't answer this question.
it is what i've always wanted, but now, im not so sure anymore.
the world's expanding, and there are so many better prospects everywhere out there, rather than just in this small field.
but to think that there is this 5% chance of getting in, doing that, and yet now i'm voluntarily giving up without even trying makes me die a lot on the inside.
so maybe i'll make up my mind soon,
or maybe i'll never be able to give that up on the inside.
but i know i will in the end, cos i don't have enough perseverance needed for something that good.
maybe it's just too prestigious for me and i don't deserve it.
and maybe, it is/will turn out to be a good thing.
i seriously need to go back.
it's killing me, the wait and everything else.
please jesus, a miracle now?
제발..